Swine Flu--Let's get a little Hysterical, shall we!?

Everybody! Run for the hills! The Swine Flu is here!

As I have been telling everyone for years now, this is all the fault of those damn Mexicans! They have been bringing this over the border, and infecting all of our catholic school children in the border towns like New York City!

Get the border patrols! Bring in every National Guard and Reservist that isn't on their 6th tour in Iraq, and line 'em up on the Mexican border. Orders are "shoot to kill" anyone even thinking about making a run at the border for America. After all, a few thousand cases of the flu have been reported in Mexico. That must mean that at least 20-30 MILLION people in Mexico have it. And you know what that means? A MASS INFLOW of Mexicans into America for our free health care, and while here, maybe they can have a few babies, and stay, once they have sucked our health system dry.

It does make you wonder, though, doesn't it? Why all these countries EXCEPT Islamic countries have reported incidents of Swine flu. It's those al-Queda folks, they are so smart. They decided to create a virus that only affects non-Muslims, and instead of bringing it to America (that would be too obvious!) bring it to MEXICO, so it can be smuggled in to the US undetected, just like laundered money, or cocaine. No al-Queda fingerprints. Smart! And Obama is just using this whole thing to scare the Senate into finally confirming that baby-killer, totally incompetent Nazi-like Kathleen Sebelius as Health and Human Services Secretary. See, you need to stay vigilent about these conspiracies, my friends...

Personally, I am going to follow Michael Savage's advice, and use this as an excuse to boycott all products using illegal immigrants. It's going to be a real pain at first, since I am going to have to screen all the companies, and the people, but after a while, you just start to get a sense for who's not really "one of us", you know what I mean?

Wow! When you step back and look at it all from a distance, it is so obvious that all of the paranoia and fear-mongering from Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck, Michael Savage and Rush Limbaugh isn't really fear-mongering. They are really right! I guess it's time to go all "Galt" on America, and pick up my bat and ball and move to someplace like Bermuda. Maybe there's no swine flu there. Or illegals, terrorists, Mexicans, gays, pacifists, left-handers, fat people, bald people, short people, ugly people, narcoleptics, people with restless leg syndrome, gigantic eye-ball sufferers, allergy-sufferers, dog lovers......